christian. vegan. lover of life.

to Bob July 27, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jessica Dixon @ 10:27 pm

It is tragic that my favorite movie of all time is not released on DVD and it is likely you have never heard of it. If you can get a copy of it or see it on tv by chance, do so immediately! It is called “Big Man on Campus” not to be confused with Dead Man on Campus. To your left is the lovable Bob Maloogaloogaloogaloogalooga (1 malooga, 4 loogas), star of “Big Man on Campus.” Watch it. I know you will love it. 🙂

 

a quiet prayer for you…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jessica Dixon @ 3:27 am

There’s ten hours between us tonight
And I feel like my heart will break
Cause it’s been way too long
Since I’ve last seen your face
What I’d give if you were here with me now
And I was lost in your touch
If I know my heart
There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted so much

But to love you
Just to love you
It’s all I wanna do

There’s ten hours between us tonight
And I feel like I could die
But all the pain would just
Go away if I could look in your eyes

And love you
Just love you
It’s all I wanna do

Cause I know you’re the one
That I’ve been praying for
I could love you for a thousand years
And wish for a thousand more

There’s ten hours between us tonight
But tonight can only last so long
By twelve o’clock tomorrow baby
You’ll be here in my arms

And I’ll hold you close to my heart
And I pray you feel my love
Until that day when time or space
Will never again separate us

And I’ll love you
Oh, I’ll love you
It’s all I’ll ever do
Cause I know you’re the one
It just feels so right
Would it be ok with you
If I loved you for the rest of my life

“10 Hours” by Warren Barfield

 

some sunshine… July 26, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jessica Dixon @ 4:42 am

…found its way to me today. 🙂 I hope the sun is shining in your corner of the world.


This is one of my favorite quotes…I think it sums up nearly everything any normal human being is desiring in life—a witness, someone to validate his/her existence:

“We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.” -Beverly Clark, “Shall We Dance?”

This was posted by Jason Holdridge today…I can relate…
“I’m also afraid that the dreams in my heart will be dashed in the coming weeks…that somehow all the heart energy and passion that went into this will not turn out to have the affect I hoped for. That’s the scary thing about hope…it sets you up for disappointment. I could lie and say that I don’t care what happens…but that would be hogwash, which is the Greek word for Nonsense. I do care…”

I do care.

 

Uncomfortable Silence July 24, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jessica Dixon @ 3:59 am

I hate to be alone.

I’m sure this is a statement almost everyone can make. In fact, if someone can honestly say they like being alone all the time, I would like to meet him/her. All people were created for fellowship, community, companionship. It wasn’t God’s intention for us to be alone. So, I’ll say it again. I hate to be alone.

I suppose I must qualify this statement. Tranquil “solitude” is not to be confused with “alone.” While the meanings of these words are quite similar, I do not use them in the same way. There is a definite time and place for solitude. Everyone needs it, whether or not they say so. And it is fairly inescapable anyway, much to our benefit. Another being cannot follow you everywhere. And if he/she did, you would soon find you wish him/her to make himself/herself scarce, even for a moment. I’m sure this is testable and verifiable by parents all over the world. 🙂 So, being alone isn’t bad at all. It is something we need. Jesus sought out times of aloneness, so should we.

However, when a person is alone, that is when he hears the loudest noise, when he can truly hear his own heart, and also the heart of God if he’s listening.

I’ll be completely transparent and honest and say that I dislike silence, but only when I’m avoiding something. If I am perfectly comfortable with myself, with God, with my position and place in life, silence is a welcome friend. But when there’s something a person is trying to escape, silence becomes the enemy and every distraction imaginable becomes a new best friend. Why do you think people watch movies or television or read books for reasons other than research or knowledge? Entertainment? That is what society calls it. I dare say it is something else entirely.

It is an escape.

I will be the first to admit that I watch movies and read books and fill my head with mindless television to escape that which is my real life. It is not that my real life is boring, but I am alone. There could be 100 people in our apartment and I would still be alone. “Lonely” would be a more specific and exact word. I say this, not to draw attention and pity to myself, but to get it out in the open in a blatant way to show to myself that I am just as imperfect as anyone else. I have always struggled with perfection, and it has greeted me many times on this area of loneliness. It would be a pretense and lie if I said I am not lonely and do not feel I need companionship.

The great thing about this, knowing myself as well as I do, is that I am not in need of just any companionship. I do not seek or even vaguely desire a relationship with anyone other than the one created for me (praise be to God). It is for him alone that my heart is crying for and crying over. I could say I have been waiting for him all 22 years of my existence, but it would not matter how long I have waited…any amount of time away from one’s love feels like forever, am I right?

I have no reason for writing about this other than to simply write it. There will be no encouraging ending or Christian cliche tacked on. You already know all of that, as do I. It is head knowledge. The only help one can receive from that is when it becomes heart knowledge, and that’s another thing entirely. God himself has to put it there and we’ve got to open the door.

So, I hope you don’t find yourself “lonely” tonight. And if you do, take a minute to sit in the uncomfortable silence and see what happens. See who talks first…

you…

…or God?